Life isn’t easy. Most of the time it is really hard. For me, these past three years have been really, really hard. I have dealt with many deaths over the past few years, my parent’s divorce, and other trials that have tested my faith in life. There have been many times that I have wanted to lay down and die but I know that God made me strong for a reason. I am not sure the direction my life is going in or my purpose but I know there is a reason I haven’t given up. I just pray that things get better and that I don’t have to endure another year like this one because I don’t think I can hurt that much again. I just pray that God shows me his reasons & uses me for his purpose. I know I haven’t been a perfect person, friend, daughter but I don’t think I was meant to be either. I just want to do what God intended me to do & find my happiness along the way… and hopefully share that happiness with others.
A very sweet young man that I went to high school with passed away last night. I would like to ask that you guys please keep his family & friends in your prayers. God surely took a good one last night. Just three days before his passing he wrote this on his facebook wall…
“it’s amazing how a person who has lived such a sinful life can realize that they are meant for something so much more. something that has a meaning! ive done things that i dont think ill ever be able to forgive myself for… but god seems to have no problem doing what i cant! i dont think ill ever be able to understand why he can have so much love for a lying, cheating, heart breaking sinner like me… but i guess thats because he knows thats not who i really am, and he has just been waiting for me to realize that. Its weird but out of all the drugs and other things that this world has to offer, nothing makes me feel as good as it does when i can feel him in my heart! im ashamed of the things ive done, but i realize now that i had to go through those things in order to be the person that i am today! ive been lost for many years now, but for once i feel found, and i know that i belong to something good! thats the greatest feeling in the world! i cant wait to see how far he is going to take me as long as i put my trust and my faith into him each and everyday, so thankyou god for loving a hell raising sinner like me and for seeing the good in be even tho all the bad ive done. i owe it to myself and to you to start today by living a diffrent life, so since you have no problem forgiving me then i have no problem living for you. - JD”
Well, my day just went from really good to really sucky. This morning I found my kitty, whom my dad found outside our house last Friday, dead in its cage. We knew the kitty seemed weak because it didn’t run around but we figured that it was due to having been abandoned by it’s mother & having scarce food but obviously something worse was wrong. I am especially sad for Lotus because she had kinda taken the kitten in as her baby.